Like A Virgin
by MoTheBro
Summary: The entire team thinks Dick is a virgin and they're about to find out in the weirdest way possible that he isn't. Takes place between seasons 1 and 2. Established Dick/Wally. Kind of a PSA about letting people love who they want to and live how they want to.


Dick didn't understand why the rest of the team thought he was a virgin, seriously, he knew when, where, and to whom most of them had lost their virginity. It wasn't that he was a stalker or voyeur, they just told him. The fact that he hadn't bragged about his conquests to them didn't mean that he was a celibate or anything. And besides, it had never really been against his interests to be perceived as a virgin before. Well, technically it was becoming a problem for him now because there was no way in hell he was just going to tell Wally, "Oh, by the way, I'm not a virgin, let's have sex," and Wally was terrified to 'deflower' Dick. Seriously, the five months Dick and Wally had been dating was probably the longest he'd gone without sex in like two years.

Anyways, Wally was seriously starting to get on his nerves, giving him the worst case of blue balls ever. They would be making out, both of them obviously into it and the second Dick went for Wally's pants, somehow, the older boy would stop him. "I don't want to pressure you!" the red head would say or something, and no matter how much Dick denied it, Wally was absolutely sure that he was somehow forcing Dick to have sex with him. Because apparently at the age of 17 Dick wasn't ready to make his own decisions about sex quite yet.

According to the CDC, the average age at which both men and women lose their virginity is 17.1, meaning that if the team was average; none of them would have lost their virginities before joining the Justice League. Then again, the CDC only counts vaginal, heterosexual sex as losing your virginity. They also count all of the people who wait until marriage, are morally celibate due to a religious position like priest or nun, or never lose their virginities because even though they have sex, it's homosexual or not vaginal. Yeah, that statistic is far from representative of the actual American population. Or at least that's the conclusion that Dick and Barbara came to when they were researching moral taboos for their social science class. Said conclusion lead to them making a pact to lose their virginities to each other at 15, unless they found THE ONE first.

Their fifteenth birthdays came and went without either of them being in a serious relationship, and although it was awkward, both agreed that it was better to lose their virginities to each other than anyone else.

Maybe Wally was worried about how Batman would feel about the speedster defiling his precious baby bird but Dick knew Bruce didn't care as long as he was safe. Honestly, Bruce was probably the model parent for kids everywhere because abstinence was never a thought that had crossed his mind. The older man had been very open about sex with his son from the moment he had come into the house. The first time tabloids had caught air of some new fling of Bruce's while Dick had been in his care, Dick had no idea what they were talking about. Bruce set the record straight quite quickly.

This comfort with Bruce was probably why days after being de-virginized, Dick had already spilled the beans to Bruce.

"Good, it's a good thing that you know and are comfortable with who you lost your virginity to."

"Seriously, that's all?"

"Did you want me to be surprised?" Bruce asked, raising an eyebrow that Dick well and truly hated. "We live in the same hallway and you two weren't exactly quiet about it."

Dick paled at this. "Oh my god! You could totally hear us."

"Don't worry, I bought earplugs just for when this inevitable fact of life came to fruition."

Dick just groaned and smacked his head against the table.

Dick couldn't recall the names of the two girls after Barbara, but both were brunettes and pushy and Dick didn't wake up next to either of them the morning after.

He did remember the names of the next three who came over the series of a few weeks. Kate, Mary Anne, and Georgia. They were all quite similar too though, shorter than Dick, nice in an almost uncomfortable way and all Blonde with brown eyes.

The fourth one though, Dick remembered him quite clearly. Not because he was great between the sheets or anything but because he was Dick's first boyfriend. Dick and Barbara had a platonic relationship, even though they lost their virginities to each other. The other girls had been casual flings upstairs from parties that had meant nothing in the morning. Dick had dated Charlie for three weeks before they 'consummated' their relationship. Of course, Dick forgot to tell Bruce to sleep downstairs that day so he got plenty of ridicule the next morning.

"Hey Dick, was that a boy you rushed out of your window this morning?" Bruce smirked from across the table.

Dick turned pale as a sheet and glared at his guardian "I totally forgot you can hear loud noises from my room."

"And he tripped the window alarm that I put on your room after you snuck out last time."

"Crap."

"Yep, nothing gets past me, but hey, it's cool. Do you know if you're pan or bi?"

"What? Why?"

"Don't worry, it is important though." Interjected Alfred from the kitchen.

"Um. Pan, I think…" Dick trailed off.

"Wonderful, you're going to need a ride to school."

Alfred cooked breakfast for dinner that night, pink, yellow, and blue pancakes. Dick voiced just how unfunny that was quite loudly while scarfing down the pancakes and cracking up on the inside.

Charlie broke up with Dick three weeks later because being on the Young Justice team was taking up too much of his time.

Going to a gay bar to hook Dick up after the breakup had been Jason, the newly minted Robin's idea. The fake ID cards had been Alfred's handy work, even if the butler had ominously told them on the way out of the manor that it may not be a good idea to go to a club at the tender ages of 16 and 14.

Dick would be agreeing with him later that night when he was getting a phone call from Wally while in the middle of a quickie with a Drag Queen that was just a few years older than Dick… drag princess? Who knew?

Dick was still fixing his skinny jeans in the bathroom while he returned Wally's call.

"Hey dude, what's up?" he giggled, just slightly buzzed from some sort of tequila that Jason had insisted on drinking earlier that night.

"Oh, um I had a question about- wait a second, are you drunk, are you in a club!?"

Dick didn't know why but for some reason Wally was the one person who he didn't want to know that he was rebounding hard. He fumbled for an answer as he came up with the most plausible scenario he could come up with on the fly. "Nah… I mean kind of, me and Jason are undercover for Bats for the night and we had to blend in. Whatever the bartender gave us was really strong."

"Nope, you're really drunk; your English is suffering from your drinking." Wally sounded concerned, why did Wally sound concerned. Dick had to make Wally not sound concerned, that was all that mattered. "What club are you at, where are you?"

"No," Dick slurred, "Can't, can't compromise the mission."

"Dick, trust me. If you're this drunk, the mission is compromised and hey, if you're this bad off just think of Jason. Ok, think of your little brother. If he's been keeping pace with you then he's even drunker." Wally said, words speeding up with urgency. "Dick, if there are hostiles in the building, you need to get out now."

Why was Wally worried, Dick's brain asked, going double time in the soupy amber marsh of drunkenness that came from one too many shots of whatever the bartender had given him. Wally shouldn't be worried, Dick was just out having some fun. But Wally said something about Jason, and that got Dick's protective streak going. But wait, Jason was fine. Was he?

"Dick, Dick are you still there?!" Wally shouted into the phone.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I have to go Wally, thanks for calling." Dick hit end call on his phone and made his way out onto the dance floor to find Jason and drag him home. They both woke up the next morning in Jason's room to Bruce throwing the curtains wide open, letting the Neon Yellow million-watt ball of gas in the sky physically attack their eyelids. Schadenfreude danced across Bruce's face as both boys groaned, Dick clutching Jason to his chest, sheltering the boy from the light of the sun. "You're soooo mean." Dick groaned, halfheartedly swiping at Bruce with the hand that wasn't clutching Jason.

"Rise and Shine boys! We've got a long run ahead of us this morning!"

Simultaneous groans came from the boys huddled on the bed.

Just a month later, Dick clutched not Jason but Jason's lifeless corpse to his chest, not at home in bed but in the middle of a battle in Bialya where he had to leave his little brother as he fought through hordes of mindless soldiers.

He buried his sorrow in the arms of two blonde-haired people, one female and one male. A gender fluid person who went as Genevieve one day and Geoffrey the next. Sam, the boy with huge hands and beautiful blue eyes. Martin, with the horned rim glasses that he didn't even take off while having sex. Winifred, Alexis, Peter, Victor, Quinn, Owen, Derek, Tamara, and Jesse.

Then Wally asked him out. In addition, the casual flings stopped. They had to because Wally wanted to be together- _together_ and that really wouldn't work out if one of them was having casual sex all across Gotham.

But Wally still thought he was a virgin. Which is what made the current situation so funny to Dick and literally no one else. You see, Nightwing was currently nailed, not tied but nailed to a tree. Luckily, the witch missed his tendons, bones, and important muscles but seeing as Nightwing could still feel and bend all of his toes and fingers, he wasn't that concerned. The witch's justification for Nightwing's current predicament was that he was the only 'pure' member of the team

Which is to say he was the only not alien virgin.

She had some intense spell that made Zatanna pale where apparently she was going to filter a spell through him like he was some sort of prism and make the spell ten times stronger. But for the spell to filter properly, the person doing the filtering had to be pure and she wanted the dramatic irony of the filtering person to be a member of the team.

Needless to say, Dick saw no problem with the situation, after all, even if he was going to work as a filer, it wouldn't kill him and the spell was just going to die when it hit him because he was far from pure. The rest of the team had been fighting enemies around a magic circle that Dick, his tree, and the witch were in but now they were all as close to the circle as they could get without being electrocuted to watch what was going to happen.

"Lady, you do know this isn't going to work, right?" he joked with a hint of humor in his voice.

She circled around to look at him. "Why, do you have alien DNA in you?" she asked, genuine concern in her voice.

"No, I'm just not pure, biblically." He shot back.

"Nightwing, making out without shirts on a few times doesn't make you impure." Interjected Wally from outside the glowing circle.

"Whatever." Nightwing sighed, totally done with the cluelessness of his team. He made eye contact with the only other relaxed person in the cavern, Batgirl, and winked. She just face palmed at him.

" _Tniap eht steerts htiw eht doolb fo ym seimene!"_ The witch chanted while making hand motions like she was trying to air bend at Nightwing. A beam of bright green power shot at his chest, encasing him and the tree he was nailed to. However, instead of doing whatever it was supposed to, the light melted the nails in his hands and feet and sealed the wounds, dropping him like 3 inches to the ground.

As the light dissipated, he grabbed a set of brass knuckles out of his utility belt and slammed his fist into her temple, knocking her to the ground. Zatanna was the first to speak. "That is definitely not what the spell was supposed to do. As in, all of us should be piles of human bones and goop."

"Good thing I'm not as much of a good little girl as you all thought then, isn't it?" Dick smirked at them.

Wally gaped. "Who, when…?"

"Wait, wait, I want to guess!" Blue beetle exclaimed, taking great joy in Wally's discomfort. "Wait. But you have to tell us your sexuality to narrow things down."

Dick just smirked, enjoying the situation almost as much as Beetle. "Pansexual."

"Damnit, that really doesn't help!" Lagoon boy added in.

"Nightwing, stop bullying your poor boyfriend, just get it over with and tell me who?" Whined Wally.

"Me." Answered Barbara.

"Really?" Asked Wally looking between the two Bats. "Actually, yeah, that makes sense, you're both Bats." He trailed off, seeing the look on Nightwing's face. "I'm not going to like what's coming next, am I?" groaned the red headed speedster.

"Yeah, Bat Girl was just my first." He smiled sheepishly.

"What!" Exclaimed Barbara. "I've not had sex with anyone else for two years! I figured the same was true for you!"

"The answer to that is a resounding no, sorry Babs." He said, looking at the ground an rubbing the back of his neck.

"Well, spill!" Said a few of the people standing in the group surrounding Dick.

"Maybe not in front of everyone…." He trailed off.

"You know about all of our conquests." Superboy noted in a deadpan, "It goes both ways."

"Are you sure?" Dick mumbled, looking around. Everyone nodded emphatically. "Well, there was Bat girl; we had a pact to lose our virginities to each other at 15. Then there were five more girls, then my first boyfriend. Wally called me while I was literally in the middle of rebounding from him. There was another boy between that and when Jason died but, well, since Jason died, I've been kind of slutty…" He trailed off.

"Define slutty?" Artemis queried, sounding genuinely interested, A few other team members nodding along with her.

"Like ten people until I started dating Wally." Dick chuckled, running a hand through his hair uncomfortably.

"Oh my god." Wally groaned. "Here I've been, worried about pushing you into sex or something you didn't want to do when in truth this whole time you've been like an expert sexer." Wally laughed, slumping against his boyfriend. "When we get back to the cave you and me are going to lock ourselves in a room for like six hours and when we're done at least one of us will not be able to walk." Wally whispered into his ear.

"Finally!" Dick whispered back.

Superboy turned bright red. "You know I can hear both of you!" He yelled, cupping his hands over his ears.

"We can share with the rest of you if you'd like." Nightwing offered, less than charitably.

Artemis turned to look at him. "I don't want to know what either of you just said." The boys smirked at her lecherously. "You know what." She continued. "I never believed in the virgin/whore applying to anyone I the real world but you, boy wonder; you've proven me quite wrong."

Nightwing just grinned back.

* * *

 **A/N Having multiple sexual partners, male, female, or someone who doesn't identify as either is perfectly ok! As long as you use protection and if need be, contraceptives, there's nothing wrong with doing what you want with your body when it doesn't hurt you or your partner. Some people lose their virginity young, some old, and some not at all. Anything you choose to do with your body is ok as long as you don't put yourself or others at risk. The fact that Dick is pansexual has nothing to do with the amount of sexual partners he had, and nobody's sexuality makes them any more of a prude or slut, both of which are derogatory terms. Let people do with their bodies what they want, don't annoy them about what they do with their bodies, and they will treat you the same way. Be good to everyone, and they will be good to you. Thank you for reading my story! It makes me really happy that you like my work enough to slog through all the way down to here! Love and cookies!**

 **-MoTheBro**


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